(You can't see it so good on the video, but there's fake blood coming out of my head and mouth after each knife trick.)

The challenge for week 7 of Impress These Apes was to create a circus sideshow act. My first thought was "finally, a reason to buy juggling torches!" But I was told we couldn't use fire at iO. My second thought was "finally, a reason to buy juggling knives!" But it was going to cost over $100 and it was unclear whether I could get some in time. So then I went through ideas three through fifteen. Somewhere in there I decided to do a sword swallowing act. Ta da!

My poster was a photoshopping of a sideshow banner by Johnny Meah, found on the website of the Carl Hammer Gallery, here in Chicago.

The scores were really high in general this week, especially from guest judge Robert Buscemi, and so I've fallen to seventh place -- 10 points behind the leader, Kristen Studard. So if everyone else breaks their legs between now and next week...

And next week is the finale. The end. The big show. We've got the open ended challenge to "impress these apes" and so knows what everyone will come up with? I know what I'll come up with, because I've already got the costume. Come to the show and find out! And stay for the party. And buy me a beer. And tell me you thought I was great.

Everyone's side show acts:

Amanda - "The Horned Woman"
Brady - "The Fattest Man in the World"
Erin - "Addicted to Pain"
Fuzzy - "King of Swords"
Jarrad - "Morbon"
Jenny - "Baby Maker 3001"
Kristen - "Creepy Lady"
Margaret - "The Big Show"